I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
