i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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