can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
