I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
