Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
