I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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