my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He better not be in your backpack
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
