i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
