He kissed a someone with a penis
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
