I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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