He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I hope mine doesn't look like that
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
