i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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