Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
