see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Randomize
