Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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