A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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