If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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