I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
