I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
