i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
