WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
