not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
