Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
