She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
