butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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