WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
