he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
