Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
