You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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