I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
