i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
