Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am naked and annoyed.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
