Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
