your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
