normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
