OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
