I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
