Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
