Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
