Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
