Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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