cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
A bitchslap is in order.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
