I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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