What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
