that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
