soooo we both peed the bed last night...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
