i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Ketchup is God's man juice
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
