never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
