I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
