He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
