This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
