dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
